Death, illness, suffering are as natural a part of life as birth. From these shadow subjects comes the richness of religion, philosophy and faith - the very fearsomeness of death gives life it's spice and energy. How we deal with suffering - whether we accept it or fight it - has everything to do with the culture of our community. Do we intend to avoid suffering at all cost? Do we intend to enjoy the life we have, and connect with the people we call family? Do we choose not only run towards pain, but help shepherd others through theirs?
My grandfather had been
living alone and mostly isolated after my grandma passed away. When my uncle
stopped in to visit, he found that grandpa was sleeping downstairs on an old,
broken, moldy couch covered in dog hair and urine, using a loaf of bread as a
pillow. He was disoriented and in pain. Uncle Derrick took him to the hospital
and they found a huge colorectal tumor, nearly complete hearing loss and borderline
vision. We had to move him from his home and set him up in an assisted living
facility in Rockridge. He was depressed, angry, and still confused and in pain.
He didn't understand why he had to leave his home and his dog. I had the
fortunate flexibility of work to visit with him 3-4 days a week, and we got to
spend time together for the first time in nearly 2 decades. We walked. Walked
around the facility, Jamba Juice (indulging his newfound love for anything
chocolate peanut butter), and as we walked we talked and joked. He would tell
me about my mom as a kid, fishing, about his days as a teenage immigrant from
China, his time in the Navy, and he would ask me to google things like 'what
was the biggest fish ever caught'. I was a brand-new massage therapy graduate,
and together we learned how to get rid of senior Athlete's Foot with tea tree
oil baths and foot massages. When he came into the facility, he was immediately
put on hospice, and we were told he has 1-3 months on the outside. In the end,
we got 13 months together before he was ready to pass away, and I have no doubt
this was because of the power of our family's loving intent. Love didn't make Grandpa
miraculously turn back time shed his illness – it was his time to go. But the
remaining time we had together was dramatically different because of the change
in the quality of life, brought on by awareness and a change in intent. Grandpa's priceless gift to me was time, memories and connection...and he taught me what healing is: a loving, trusting connection which goes both ways - both are healed, both are strengthened and richer forever.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I completely believe that the support and love you gave to your grandfather helped him out immensely. The mind is powerful and this is a beautiful example of the power of thought <3
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story to share, it really put into perspective how caring intent and time invested with a person can greatly improve the life experience of both. Even as it was at the end of life for your grandfather. I am glad you had the opportunity to connect. I
ReplyDelete